A Demon's Holistic View of Time

Very dark and supernatural. Someone is driving a car through a cemetery, causing damage and also somehow interfering/injuring the dead. Bad karma; karma literally mathematically calculated somehow.

Demonic woman is explaining something to someone. The concept of Time is laid out as a large graphic; this is a picture of Time occuring all at once as seen from the outside (though to my eyes it still appears as a linear process on the graph.) Demon explains that from this vantage point, "answers aren't quite so clear" implying morality cannot be defined when looking at the totality of reality at once without the measure of Time. However, she makes clear that the right thing to do can be judged when each second is once again subdivided into past, present, future, and as she says this, Time starts up again as the demon more or less stabs her listener in the heart, implying this is the (awful and terrible) answer in the here and now, or something.

Also, a recurring dream, where I haven't been to school in a while. Late due to strange occurence. Mixed pile of compost and fireworks in driveway, has been set alight in hopes of calling for help. Someone shows up in a car and it's decided the firework display is not needed. I rather uncautiously go about removing the lit fuse before the pyrotechnics are ignited.

Pretzel and the Arab Boy

George W Bush has some type of 'pretzel'-type incident; lets press know he did not mean to scare the nation.

Questions about Iraq war justification lead to scene of Iraq bombing site. The US government has posters up of a now deceased Iraqi; using as a fear tactic to locals - "made an example of."

Arab boy rising from rubble, alive. I'm concerned to help him but I realize the danger, and he has submachine gun. I run with an identified person around a corner to avoid bullets, arrive in parking lot and dodge through parked cars. More bullets are fired, am able to elude injury, action dies down.

At some point there is a Koran, but the 'r' in Koran is replaced with an arrow symbol.

The Matrix Hotel / Ghost Jacket / Conscious Dreaming Into Space

This is a long one, but it pays off.

On some type of extended field trip, college-related, staying in some large hotel complex. Wood paneling. Hotel so expansive, it has its own movie theatre. I go to see new Matrix movie. Kyle MacLachan stars (dressed in black, shades.) Discussion about previous film's characters being robots/programs. I am in the scene, though not of it, able to move around in scene but still watching "movie." Bad guy/Agent Smith-type (very powerful) comes into scene, into elevator with other characters. He immediately shoots up through the roof of elevator in wait of rising lift. Then he magnetically drops down metal links to quickly build cages around Kyle and other protagonist in elevator. I am in the scene, but am still able to move more freely, being just a spectator. However, my capture is also attempted.

Second scene with bad guy firing guns at us; like in Matrix films, this happens in slow-motion and I'm able to dodge the bullets, but one grazes my knee and I feel pain - which is odd since I'm still under the impression I am just watching the film in the hotel theater. I decide to leave theater to evaluate situation and possibly return later.

Later, after encountering some characters from my past and from television (this dream overall is way too long to record here), I try to return to the Matrix film, since I had paid my ticket. But that entrance area is blocked by the filming of a new TV show, a Let's Make A Deal type game show, Bob Barker type host, in hotel lobby/conference area. Many celebrities are in attendance. Eventually the crowd becomes a packed wedding reception for a friend who is not identified. DM appears with high-school era mullet haircut. CM is there, resembling an elf at first, but engages me in conversation. He is a little angry about some things he heard that I had said ten years before, though I try to suggest that that evidence is dubious to begin with. But I try to explain my supposed previous comments to CM. I warn him that this "may sound pseudo-philosophical." But I go on that "THIS is now, everything before this moment is sinking away, like the Titanic; it HAD to be that way. There are always some (free-will) choices but things that have happened happen as part of the circle of life" etc. The analogy is taken further, that the past as such should not focused on, i.e. in music, old forms (pop music) should evolve, though they have not.

CM seems nearly convinced, but later confronts me with some comment I had made about livestock not feeling pain when slaughtered for human consumption, that that was also part of the circle of life etc. So I confess to CM that if I had ever said that, I was totally wrong; the animals do suffer, wrongly. Around this time there is some image, of a telephone, the buttons have anomalies after a certain point, i.e. 6 and 7 are on the same button.

There is at some other point a scene where I am seated at a large table talking with a man who is a priest figure (no uniform.) He has a small stack of communion wafers in his hands, and does a trick on the table where by placing his hand over them, he is able to make them levitate - but I see the black string that he is using to perform this simple hoax. He asks me to try and I try to catch the string with my pinky so I can also do this. He scolds me for trying too quickly without thinking my aim through. I then am able to do it, albeit imperfectly.

There is one more scene where I am moving through another hotel area, and there are some doctor's patient tables. Some tables are empty, others have patients and doctors at them. I make a joke to JM; one bed appears to have two orange dolphins lying in it, peering out from under a cover.

I go back into the wedding reception scene and a huge line is formed; one that appears to be (regrettably in this case) circular, with no beginning or end, it is indeed the line for the food buffet but it spans many rooms and hundreds of people. Eventually I find a way to fit into the line. It leads to a large vent in the wall with large slats that each person must climb through. I find it a bit difficult, my legs feel weak. There are helpers who adjust the slats to help each person through. Beyond it is a brief tunnel. I get through and there is a short old African-American man in a beat up sports jacket attempting to shine my shoes. Though he appears to be employed by the hotel, I still feel this is pretty degrading so I don't let him, and my shoes are suede or something anyway, so he only pretends to shine them.

THEN...he disappears and only his supernaturally-animated sports jacket remains, floating and flying through the air. I can't believe this, similar to superconsciousness/alien activity of a previous dream (sweatsuited - ghost dream.) I am nearly speechless but I ask JM if she is also seeing/believing this. Then I "take control." I am gaining awareness of dream, so I command the jacket to come to me. It flies into my arms with surprising speed and force. It is loose again, there appears to be a lightbulb at the heart of the open jacket, like a symbolic / cheap special effect "soul" or heart, which becomes incendiary and then the jacket flies around wildly. I command "THIS STOPS NOW!", aware that I am in control of the scene.

The scene changes to my parents' house, the den; house is empty except for an unidentified woman who watches me. I am completely awake and conscious of the dream. I examine my arm and hand, which seems to shift and change size with bubbling volatility. I immediately decide, as I do in every conscious dream perhaps, to go outside and fly. I run to the front door and open it, the sky is sort of painted fleshy pastel reminiscent of post-impressionism. This is a brief glimpse because when I do fly it is again with sudden force and I shoot up into space.

"Up there" I lose conscious control as I watch some sort of show on a stage. It appears to be a happy/staged reunion between Ronald Reagan and Mikhail Gorbachev in front of an audience. Gorbachev is not real, he is a 'something else,' wearing a large Disney-type costume that resembles Gorbachev. Large red eyes on costume. A spaceship tries three times to 'get up' or through some opening, only seen on third time when it has trouble manuevering and gets 'caught' on something.

The descent from space is fast and literally cartoonish - Daffy Duck meets Porky Pig type of cartoon descent. Cartoon angels with harps on clouds help me down; one makes a lewd comment to me to 'deflate' my situation. Nearing earth, me/cartoon considers smashing part of civilization vengefully on landing, but stop right before hitting and land softly in cartoon manner instead; psyche out.

"Awakening" in a hotel bed with cover up to face. I see a policeman at window about to knock with night stick; he must see me through window also, can't hide. Concerned and think of plan to bide some time.

Half-Dream

Caught in a half-sleep state, and trying unsuccessfully to wake up. Think I've woken up, am walking around the apartment, but things are different, my hair is dyed and the color distribution changes moment to moment. Attempt to determine if this is dream or reality by focusing mind in certain way but - I'm fooled by dream, into concluding it is real. Attempt to float over floor by jumping and 'missing' i.e. not landing, with little success, tried that because have been able to float/fly consciously in many other dreams. Rest is forgotten at moment, but will attempt to write to this journal more often in hopes of regaining memory power.

Stairway to Heaven

Similar to the film "Jacob's Ladder", main character is me/Tim Robbins. Final death scene is played out but different than film. Boy comes to take me/TR up symbolic stairway, but boy wears train conductor's hat. At first landing where stairway turns to left, boy turns and faces, disappears. I continue, at top of stairs is a middle-aged conductor type taking tickets. Room beyond him is dark. I turn around, back on landing there is a TV showing (unknown) faces from memories. I see possibility of remaining on this threshold indefinitely, ghost-like, to keep in touch with people from past. I decide to see what lies ahead and think "God should be more than enough" and go forward.

On waking, in half-sleep state I attempt to go back to this dream and explore the room beyond train conductor. It is very dark with a window open on the far side to a deep blue night sky.

Alien Abduction

First part I remember is at my parents' house, my father is away. My mother is making some food, I'm very hungry. Too much bread.

Downstairs watching TV with mother, while food is cooking. Old Robin Williams standup special is on - he is dressed as "Mork" and makes a lot of early 80's references. Strange shot of an audience member making bizarre facial reactions to RW that seem contrived and surreal; intense. Cut back to RW - speaking nonsense, awkward halting movements and near-backwards jibberish talk. Audience seems to see humor in this. RW makes strange faces that soon become absurd and impossible - cartoonish distortions of face size and malleablity, a la Beetlejuice film or somesuch. Eventually RW's head more or less combusts (cheap sci-fi effect) on screen to reveal a strange robotic structure that resembles a small factory (form also still suggests facial features.) I consider mentioning out loud that clearly this is no longer a live performance, as we must be seeing some special effects and animation. Things get cosmic. Bizarro RW backdrop is outer space - then I'm shooting up into cosmos.

Only reference point for next sequence is 2001: A Space Odyssey. Galaxies are coming to life before eyes; stars, planets. Strange music plays to comfort me. There is some type of "Star Child" being born - but is more of a cross between a featherless newborn bird and human fetus - coming to life. Birth is in some sort of egg and numerous jet-black colored specimens of the same species are pushing in from the outside of egg membrane. This appears to be ok, natural; conception comes to mind.

Somehow this segues into an imaginary deleted scene (not from reality) from the Beatles film "Help." It is a scene that would take place at the start of the film but chronologically should take place after actual film's ending. The head of the cult is being prepared and put on the table to be sacrificed. I remark, now back on Earth, that this Beatles film must have been on the same tape or channel as the RW special - but am still somewhat shocked at the middle "cosmic" sequence that seamlessly linked the two.

Strange sequence follows, not much is remembered except what is described to someone else in the next sequence. But there are a lot of things going on in the dark and possibly I've been beaten to a pulp.

Now on the run, because "nowhere is safe." Decide to sleep in car near police station, safest place I can imagine. Long-haired cops take me however. I end up telling my story of the past two days to a female detective (first African-American, later Asian) in a private room at the station with a long table. She is a detective/psychologist, appropriately, because I feel the need to start off by telling her that I am not on drugs and am not crazy, but that something happened to me, people are following me and trying to kill me. I have little evidence and she doesn't seem to buy the conspiracy theory. She asks if I was raped, I basically say yes since I have no way else to describe the cosmic beating that happened to me in any realistic human terms. She asks why I didn't come forward sooner. I say the experience happened two days ago and I've been on the run hiding ever since, and now here I am.

THEN, she goes to a blackboard and writes/draws an explanation so esoteric and bizarre that at first I wonder if she is being sarcastic and mocking me, but it seems to be for real. Her not-exactly-stated explanation is that I've been abducted by aliens. She draws a picture of an alien face and surrounds it with words, i.e. what the aliens were taking from me ("wisdom", etc.) She draws an atmospheric map and even plots a rough trajectory and explains that this is the path the "visitors" use to come down to earth. I nearly remark on its similarity to the rainbow bridge from Asgard to Earth in Norse mythology, but she calls the "bridge" by a strange unknown name.

As she continues with the chalkboard, I look to my right and seated there is "someone" wearing a light grey sweatsuit with the hood up. However, there is no body in the top half of the body, but in the lap, hands tap a rhythm and there are clearly legs in the pants. I'm stunned and horrified at this apparent continuation of strange events, and scream for the female detective to turn around and look (hopefully this will prove my case, that something strange is going on.) But when she finally turns to look, the sweatsuit is placed like a person on the chair but there is definitely no one in it and there are no signs of life. I surrender to the possibility that I must be suffering from paranoid schizophrenia as nothing else can seem to explain all these strange happenings. She suggests medication but it frightens me even more, as I wonder how they can possibly cure me without possibly making these hallucinations worse.

Her immediate prescription is not, however, medication, but rather, a vinyl copy of Mahavishnu Orchestra's "Birds of Fire" record - i.e. this should help me...I examine the back cover and pathetically mention that I have already had this record for some time, in some vain attempt to show that I know something about anything and haven't been too far off track. The back cover shows the names of songs, some of which are true to life i.e. "One Word" and some of which are not i.e. "Candy." The detective is looking out the door at the clock and trying to get me out. I ask for a few more seconds of clarifications; she answers about how I should avoid listening to the last few tracks on the record as they are "bonus tracks" and were never meant to fit into the original "healing" scheme of the work.

Brando's Raccoon

Watching a movie on TV; Woody Harrelson's character is being interviewed in a luxurious office with a long table by Marlon Brando. It is also kind of class oral report, WH is reading from something. Brando asks him to sing the rest of an answer. I look for the script to re-read this strange sequence, only to find it must have been improvised.

Now I am working for some large department store, Brando is theoretically the boss. Tom and friends have allowed some animals in; eventually it's a raccoon and a possum. The raccoon attacks me as I reach the top of an escalator, the possum also nears. I sympathize with the animals; they don't belong here. Sequence where I scold Tom and then decide to get the animals out. I go back to the escalator and find the raccoon; it is sitting in the last of these long line of potted plants near the escalator. A woman is standing dangerously close to it so I move her. I need a plan; I take a shopping cart and try to figure out how I can get the raccoon into it. Only then I notice that the top part of the cart is filled with a pile of dachshunds and small dogs - at this point I realize I definitely should be working in this pets area from now on, I have a knack for it. I move the cart to the other side of the area and wonder if someone was shopping for dogs with it.. Each potted plant seems to have some animal in it.

There is another sequence about large mechanical beetles than crawl down and fix clogged plumbing.

There is brief nightmarish sequence with Agent Dale Cooper and Sheriff Truman from Twin Peaks out in the woods.

Kid A and Bubba's Return

I listen to the entire Kid A record from Radiohead, and it is precisely like the real record, until Morning Bell, which is a new version with different tempo and some heavy guitar on it.

Our old cat Bubba shows up later, killing small animals; many animals figure in this dream, but details are lost.

SUV Ghost / Oleo by George Harrison

Nighttime, outside a strange apartment building. In large SUV or Dodge Caravan type car (many rows of seats) with Tom. There is a ghost around the area allegedly; we are a bit nervous but are having fun faking ghost appearances and attacks. Finally ghost arrives, we exit car. We watch car from across the street, back door is open and slamming shut repeatedly by unseen person/ghost. We are amazed, can't believe we are witnessing this. Tom freaks out, goes over to strange crowd of young people near apartment building, grabs and kisses girl full on lips. He becomes an Asian girl explaining that she is from Canada. I enter building, meet up with JD, shared moment.

Later, playing guitar downstairs in parents' den with father and NS. Dad has the 12 string, I'm surprised it's in tune with other guitars. NS grabs other guitar as joke (can't play.) I read sheet music and we play (non-existent) George Harrison tune called 'Oleo.' Chorus is Cminor, Cdim, F walkdown, etc. There are some strange chords marked like Eb euphoria 7 or something similar misspelled (euli...)

Magic Candle / Evil Uncle Imposter / The Oral Sex / Deregulation of Reality

Apologies for any avid readers (the few, the insane) that I haven't updated recently. There have been many dreams but no time to write them except in shorthand in a journal. I'll put them up as time permits. But this dream occurred early Wednesday morning 2/5.

I "wake up" in my parents' house; it is mostly dark and empty of people. On the landing near the front door are set a multitude of candles burning, but very eerily there is one candle on a plate floating all around the area, as if by magic. Eventually I rationalize that there must be some great draft wind coming in under the front door to make this happen, but remain unconvinced. The kitchen clock reads one 'o clock, and it is pitch dark out, but I am not convinced it is not possibly 1pm and the sun has been eclipsed or something. Very supernatural feeling to this entire sequence and the ones that follow.

Looking for my parents, out of one dark room walks Uncle Jan - but he is not himself, possibly some demonic personage disguised as Uncle Jan. My parents' bed has not been slept in, I am very cautious and suspicious. More relatives gather in the living room, and I confront fake-Uncle Jan and fight him. Yes indeed, eventually I defeat him by slamming a chicken cutlet into his face. Real Uncle Jan appears from somewhere else and everyone is thankful.

Another place, unknown to me now but where I have just moved in the dream. I try to go upstairs, but the size of the stairway opening is a tiny crawlspace; I ponder how I, or anyone else, got the furniture upstairs. Upstairs there are large windows with ledges, so I assume the windows were removed and items lifted or craned in that way.

In one room with an unknown girl and some guys. The girl and I are at each other's throats, oil and water. There is a song playing I don't like, and I make the sarcastic remark that unless it gets turned off, someone has to perform a sexual act on me. Oddly, she agrees to the latter, and we go into another room and all the hate-tension has been transformed into intense passion and we get into a bed. A couple of the guys sit on the floor to watch, but hide their faces with coats, although later I noticed they have removed them. Some very graphic things go on that will not be described by me here on the internet; this is far too much information already. There is a problem with a condom, but she has another. Suddenly a few people walk in, including NM. I'm a bit embarrassed so I try to hide the prophylactics, but to no avail. NM takes one and toys with it.

The next section takes place at a large store, and patio restaurant. Basically me and a few other men are discussing the strange things that have been happening. Someone has printed out an email that talks about reality beginning to fall apart, entropy, etc. and how things will get stranger and stranger until the end of the world in October of 2003. Some major flaw in the design of the universe. Early effects are noticeable, for example at one point I find a pair of scissors (or similar tool) but instead of having two handles, it has three. Surreal things are happening. I am reminded and speak of my real life idea years ago to write a novel about God 'deregulating' reality, so that there were holes in the space-time continuum, i.e. you might walk into Burger King and find yourself in the Stone Age. I revise the idea in the dream, to the concept that God didn't get creation quite right, and now at the end of times, it is starting to unravel. I joke how "God shouldn't have rested that seventh day" which elicits much laughter from my company. I continue to brainstorm ideas about this book/screenplay, even though the reality of it is already happening or something. I picture a book about the end of the world, the break-down of reality into chaos, and I picture the book would end with the last few pages pure gibberish like mmmm jfruh njrvr okokef f wnfunf hrfuy helpsidh ndjf ijf o f8 nfaj % j etc. etc.

Then at a Jillian's type place, I see JD and I want to talk to her about what is happening with reality's fabric, I want to be with her, comfort her and help her through. I ask her to follow me so we can talk but we end up in this corner where the music speakers are too loud, so she runs off in another direction and I follow. There may be another younger girl following me at this point. At the other side of this complex JD goes through a door, but before I can reach it it gets obscured by other doors and curtains etc. in an oddly symbolic/poetic scene.

I continue to discuss the sudden reality problems and surreal happenings to some friends outside. Other signs of this growing chaos appear; a t-shirt whose image fades immediately when one looks at it, a misshapen jewelry box that someone has, that has odd crooked jewelry in it.

At some point I meet back up with my parents, eventually at their house, though my father may have figured earlier on, in one of the book idea discussions. Oddly but thankfully, JD is back with me and she is impressed to hear their tale; I ask them what happened to them, why they disappeared (see first part of dream.) My father says when the reality shift happened, they were in the dark and he had to guide my mother through, or maybe she guided him, but he was covering her eyes. To get back to where they needed to go, to survive (??) they borrowed money from NS and his father ($450 and $20K, respectively.)

There is one other sequence but I don't know where it fit in, but I am screaming at the top of my lungs at my father and leaving the house.

Swallowed Ring / Another Gig / Guitar Bodega

Hanging around with EA, eating something. Whatever it is, it seems to have a large metal ring (shower curtain size) at its core. I am apprehensive when I realized I have accidentally swallowed the ring, which is not meant to be eaten. This happens twice. I feel ok, but anxiety starts to set in; rings may be cutting off air supply.

Long sequence another night, much is forgotten. A gig taking place in a sort of school auditorium. Many performers; other known characters abound, I'm about to play, expectation and excitement is great. Technical problems. Paul tries to help. Opening with "Dink's Song." Cut short due to loss of power. Some people (David A.) helping with power supply cords. Growing impatient, myself and crowd. Crowd has taken stage at some point, but eventually clears out. I decide the performance is over. Twice verbally blasting someone, forget who and why, but I humbly apologize to him afterwards.

Cross between independent guitar store and city bodega; I sort of work there. Some younger people, kids, running around, family of owner possibly, taking stuff for free. This customer guy asks another employee (Chad but very distant from reality Chad) about Gibson guitars, and Not-Chad disparages them, which I take silent offense to. Recommends other manufacturer, customer picks out this small oddly shaped green guitar, likes it, plans to buy, has a gig soon, says he'll sit down while playing it due to weird shape, which I think is unnecessary. Compares nicely to Gibson, he says.

Another sequence with Doug, in his "office." Doug is in a little alcove playing the guitar. ES calls and I listen in on extension. She says some negative things about me and my work. Afterwards I protest to Doug. Doug mentions this idea that at some point he plans on starting his own record company, using the contacts and rejected offers from his current job. I strongly encourage it, pitch some ideas about web ordering and fulfillment. At some point people are comparing biceps. I say I'm not going in to work tomorrow due to earlier negative comments. Doug asks me "what this has to do with the city." Not sure what that means. Doug suggests sticking it out, I suggest some other routes I could take employment-wise.

At some point some unknown girl leaves and I decide to help her out. She is waiting outside now, the bodega/guitar store/apartment/office, to cross the street. I leave via a different entrance and approach the corner of the block. I use some unknown superhuman strength to twist the streetlight from the bottom until it shuts off. I cross the street and do the same to the DON'T WALK sign until it says WALK, or something. But by the time it takes, it may have already changed on its own. This was all done so the woman could cross street, but as I approach, station wagon (with her father? in it) turns corner and picks her up.

Radiohead Compilation / The Store of Dreams / Joe Pesci and the Missile Attack

I'm younger, at parents' house, wanting to stay home from school. My mother is ok with this, I might be sick with fever or something, though I explore other escape scenarios. Unnecessary when I see it is already after 4pm. Watching a Radiohead interview on TV, Thom Yorke is saying something about when they "worked in the 70's", which I am perplexed by. I'm looking at and listening to a Radiohead CD when, oddly, the fourth track is the original Led Zeppelin recording of D'yer Maker. Indeed, the track listing confirms this to be something of a compilation. The cover at first resembles Airbag but is named first Amnesiac and then something like Immediate Concerns or Immediate something or other. Two of my songs even made it onto the disc, I am pleased Radiohead obviously enjoyed them so.

In some type of super store that carries all sorts of rare stuff I've always wanted, CDs, toys, etc. Looking through some action figures with Tom, I find there are some incredibly rare ones hiding, cheaply priced at 78 cents each, and start taking some, though it crossed my mind, what am I really going to do with them, what is their real value, etc.


I go over to the main info desk, there is a picture hanging of a book cover, a sketch of an incredibly beautiful woman, side view, glasses, shoulder-length brown hair.
The book may be about jazz, the cover girl reminds me of Astrud Gilberto. I ask if the book is in and eventually they bring it. The cover is a little different, the woman is a little more shadowed and obscured, and appears to be in bed, touching herself. The inside of the book turns out to be possibly about guitarist John McLaughlin, a lot of strange information about his early career.

I return to the action figure area, where I had left a stack of stuff I wanted, to find that everything has be re-shelved and reorganized, which pisses me off greatly. At first I blame customers, "they don't know what they are doing", but soon it is revealed that entire area of the store has been re-plotted and the figures are in a new area, in containers underneath some long tables. I go through them again, with a wide variety of results. I pull some aside to show Tom. At some point, my sister Elizabeth appears with Tom to get me. Tom is holding Ginger-Cat, which is surprising. "Ginger really went for a ride this time!" I say, petting cat. Ginger is getting restless, I warn Tom not to put him down, but he does. A family comes over to complain to Tom about Ginger's actions. At some other point, copying 3 CDs for YS, one appears to be VH2. I notice I have that one already ripped on my PC, petty argument ensues.

In a version of the apartment, Joe Pesci is there but he is one of his characters from Goodfellas or Casino. He is my younger brother. He tells me not to worry about something, i.e. my place is now under his protection. I'm washing a pot in the sink. I go over to him to thank him, and to finally tell him how proud I am of him. I expect we'll hug, but we clasp elbows and I'm not sure if he is a bit put off by what I said.

This becomes watching the end of a movie with those characters on a large TV, possibly with Craig. Pesci has become Robert Vaughn on the screen and the film is now black and white. There is some type of commentary about some important "one bit of makeup" on Vaughn, I look and he appears to be wearing light lipstick, but more in the manner as if he was just kissed. I also suspect the lipstick is meant to be symbolic, a rush of blood, that he is about be shot, and he is. As he stumbles, he says something like "My name is _____ _____" and it is odd. In the film, Jimmy Stewart is also there in the scene, he is climbing out a window, when there is a shot and a wisp of smoke; he is shot in the shoulder and is dying. I scrutinize the special effects. Craig asks if that is the end of the movie, I say no, thinking of the end sequence of Goodfellas, but the credits run and I realize it must be some other film, or edited for TV.

Shortly after, looking out the window (a mountainous area, similar to outside window in film) I see two missiles flying through the air, they resemble the "sonic charges" from the recent Star Wars film. One hits, the other flies right over, skimming the house me and someone else are in. We turn and looking to see it pass over through a window on the other side of the house. The missile lands just over a ridge. Now the fate of all is revealed, as a mushroom cloud looms up; it is nuclear. Some serious thoughts enter as it is assumed we will be disintegrated as the cloud and light approach. I sit quickly, facing away, and surrender my soul to God/Jesus. I also say something along the lines of "may I become Sound, before I have my own way." At this point nearly disembodied, unsure of fate.

The Blow-Up Snake

Extremely interesting (and perhaps embarrassing) symbolically...it seems I've become wrapped up in some "urban legend" about a (toy) snake
that cannot be destroyed...

Earlier my father asked me to unplug my computer for some reason, at some type of large party. The computer
is in some type of backstage area. Later this becomes some type of surprise Xmas party and I've gotten a new computer
which explains the subterfuge earlier. There is also a Playstation (turns out to be original PS.) All I can think is how I
didn't need these things.

Then begins the snake saga. Mostly it is almost like a blow-up pool toy, at best 5 foot long, in the shape of a large snake, white with green dots,
and a scary face on one end. Later I explained I innocently inflated it when I found it in my old bedroom, but it has gotten to the
point where I am trying to destroy it but cannot. I am horrified to find that when I tear it to shreds or somesuch, it simply grows again from one piece.
I go through a variety of situations where I am trying to destroy it, all the while amazed and horrified that I have become part of this nightmare
reality, urban legend come to life. In one rebirth, it has faces on both ends. This all goes on for some time.

Producer Jonathan Slummett

First sequence, some type of recording business going on, working with Vangelis. A new Jon A. record is being produced, I get a call from the producer, "Jonathan Slummett", he seems very eager to work. I tell him I heard some rough mixes and liked them. I begin to think of some ideas for the record.

Later, cleaning for the holidays at my parents' house, Mom asks me to find the Glade Furniture Polish, I go upstairs, sifiting through air fresheners in similar packaging but cannot find polish. Ask Dad and Elizabeth, but turns into argument. I storm out front door.

Journey Across Iraq

Some type of Iraq invasion. A long desert road (from Baghdad to nowhere...), and I am somewhat excited to be in the thick of the action. Planes pass over head, drop bombs in threes.

It took some time to get to this area, had to pass through some type of country house, out the back door, after 'basic training' was over. There was also another sequence around a tree-lined lake, on the journey. This was actually a long dream where all this took place over hours.

No, He's Just a Kid

Very long with many sequences that are jumbled now.
Some type of high school reunion, speaking with a small group of males and females, we are very close, friendship-wise and also physically, wrapped in a tight huddle talking and laughing. Others are jealous. At some point everyone is leaving, I hang back and talk to some stragglers, David K, David J, even NL strangely; I tell him I put myself on his mailing list as he talks about an
upcoming production. I've left something behind, for a school project or something and can't find it in some classrooms. Leaving the school there is a brief encounter initiated by an unknown girl with slightly curly long hair. She becomes someone else in the packed parking lot as I follow her, realizing I have no idea where I parked my car. Somehow I remember that I can't find it
because I never brought it, because I am in bed at home already.

Something happens on a giant soccer field, teams are being formed but wildly uneven. A kid asks me to be on his team, but I move on. A new scene, trees and snow outside some building where we are going to record music; Tom and others figure. There is one crazy guy who climbs a tree and hangs upside down precariously; his body shifts as he is some type of mutant. He picks me up somehow as a prank but it is taken seriously. There is a fight now inside with him though he now resembles R. His arms are flailing around wildly at blinding speed, and it is daunting. I attempt to do the same to defend myself. My cousin joins in and we obliterate the guy who becomes more like a little kid. At one point I am slamming him in this wooden hutch/cabinet thing. There is blood.

Later I am held hostage by a teacher type (Mr. J) in a bathroom; some type of terrorism, and he is passing instructions (bomb-building?) under the door and guiding me through them. One part of the 'test' gets impossibly confusing and I can't continue in a timely manner for him ('C', pictures) and an explosion is heard somewhere. The man is very, very upset. Someone else comes in to give me some motivational talk about following the directions better, but I try to explain the impossibility. A female hostage is thrown in with me, but before we get a chance to try again, the teacher-type is so upset he comes in and starts hitting us hard, eventually pulling out a gun. I try to block the shots with the only thing available, a pillow, and somehow, the shots do not find their targets. There is a someone suddenly, a policeman perhaps, creeping up behind the gunman, but he is sort of frozen. I yell for them to do something quickly before it's too late, something more complex also about how the gunman is responsible for his actions and should be taken down. The policeman-type answers however, yelling "no, he's just a kid!!" and suddenly the character and the setting behind them changes and it is an extremely nightmarish sequence this whole ending part, like the gunman being swallowed by the mouth of Hell. On near-waking I remark that it was all something out of a David Lynch film or similar.

Sideways Ringwraith

Only fragments; the Lord of the Nazgul appears in my apartment, standing sideways. Later, some photo shoot on a beach, one subject runs frantically to the water and starts swimming out.

The Journal and the Peter Gabriel Impression

Some type of nighttime, huge gym class brought by bus to play softball behind North Ridge Elementary School. I don't want to play, waiting on bus with others, names for players are being called out alphabetically. At some point outside MF is there with two friends. I apologize to the friends for the way they've seen me in the past but warn them that they will again. Later they are with some guy in the back of the bus and he is playing my 12 string guitar. I go back there and take it away. I am working some type of boombox for everyone on the bus, there is a tape in it which I decide against and I put on a dance station.

At some point I "awake" to find I am writing all this in a large black dream journal. However, I have drawn a few pictures and I am surprised at the artistry of them, sketched in the near darkness. One is some type of eye or nipple. The other is a collage with a bed in the middle. I might be showing someone proudly. There is some penciled dream text also.

In my parents' kitchen, discussing something, getting something to eat. Later I am in backyard with guitar, hearing Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes" and imagining a solo arrangement. I come back inside through the patio sliding doors, it is kind of difficult since the blinds are closed; I get through. My sister and Jon are watching some type of Peter Gabriel documentary possibly on VH-1, which excites me as I do an "old man" Gabriel impression.

SNL Disaster and Frail Hendrix

Sort of a Saturday Night Live set, I'm watching from the side, Alanis Morrisette is about to perform (though she is unrecognizable by end of this sequence.) It is sort of a flashback so they are going to play "You Oughta Know" so I check to see if Flea is sitting in - he is. I am now playing guitar, but the singer has either forgotten the words, her mic is not working, or she is just scared, or all three. She eventually exits the stage, while the band and I just keep up a simple vamp. Flea remarks to me while playing that teenagers shouldn't be made to sing about sex, because they don't understand it enough. I agree with him, cite some examples of older singers who could pull it off. We don't seem fazed that this conversation is happening during a live television disaster.

I am in a room, daylight in windows, with Jimi Hendrix and someone else lying on a bed near me. I take up Jimi's guitar because he seems too ill to play. The sound of the guitar is very muffled but very warm and crunchy and deep. I improvise on "Purple Haze" even surprising myself with a vocal that sounds like Jimi. I am having a blast. Towards the end I graciously thank Jimi and shake his hand; it is very frail and actually whitish.

Something about the Acoustic Eclectica gigs, I have this idea that CD was a part of the first one and I've forgotten him since.

The Hotel Assassins

On vacation with parents, or something, nighttime, in a high rise luxury hotel. There is a strange group; one big guy wearing a black trenchcoat and hat, followed by 7-8 Asian girls. They are coming out of our hotel suite through a sliding glass door in the back, I am out on the patio.

He tells me to lock that door, he had a problem with it. The sense I get from that is that they are actually coming back to kill everyone and want the door left unlocked. The patio is now a penthouse balcony/fire escape. The man and his entourage are in a large stretch limo down on the street. He begins shooting at me, sort of laser gun/sniper style. I am able to hide behind little obstructions and dodge the rays. I scramble back into the suite and find my mother. I'm not sure how they missed her when they were in there earlier. I am trying and trying to get across to her that we need to leave RIGHT NOW and it cannot wait, but she is a bit slow to get ready. There is some type of music/muzak blasting, I find the stereo and shut it off. There are few CDs - I consider taking like Badfinger's "Straight Up" CD but decide against it, although I do take my sunglasses and a couple of routine items.

Finally we leave the room. At the top of the stairs, I wait to make sure the person standing at the bottom is not the sinister hitman - it isn't. It appears that everyone is evacuating the hotel also, the halls and stairwells are packed. In one central area, as the thick crowds move by, there are some urban teenagers handing out free candy; peanut M&Ms, Kit Kats, Milky Ways. I take a Milky Way but most people seem very skeptical; I try to figure out if they are poisoned or not.

I suggest we head towards one of the smaller stairways, though these are also very crowded. We get to a large lobby area sooner than expected. Someone I am with now spots an acquaintance seated in a foyer area. At first I am afraid it is the hitman, but it is not, though I am still put off by having our escape slowed and our presence announced. Doug is there, seated next to Ronnie James Dio. I ask him how things are in RJD-land, but then let him know I am only teasing.