Saturday, October 16, 2004

Stupidity Tries

Probably the most depressing dream I've ever had, both content-wise and feeling-wise (these two are not always congruent in my dreams.)

At the end it's twilight and in my parents' driveway, people are loading up a car for a long trip. I say something very strange and make an hysterical joke of it, and this signals to others that I am off balance and beyond help. My parents are in the front seat (not sure who is in back) and the car is idling waiting to leave. I am trying to catch their attention so I can wave goodbye and show that I'm ok. I don't get their attention; they are either ignoring me, have forgotten about me, or assume that I've left.

I walk up to the front door, and the mailbox is somehow also a CD player. I shut off the music it was playing crystal clear: Elliott Smith's song "Stupidity Tries." In the mailbox there is a magazine with me on the cover with a reference to something I've been thinking about doing. I'm shocked because I don't know how they found out before I got to do it. Someone gets out of the car for a minute for some reason, possibly my mother, and I hope they see me but they do not and the car pulls away.

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